Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Vondizzle's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Thursday, January 22nd, 2004
10:14 pm	sometimes i just cant believe what i've gotten myself into (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
6:49 pm	wow, you never really know when something is going to happen and its just going to blow you away. for me it was the book i mentioned in my last entry. it didnt have the impact i expected. i hate my job, i want to leave and im looking for an excuse or a reason thats good enough to do so all the time. so i thought i would read a book about people who left jobs they hate to pursue their dreams. its not a great book, its probably not even a good book, but it was a catalyst for a bunch of thoughts that have been going through my head. i thought about how i got to where i am, and what i thought along the way. things i used to obscess about and things that just passed my mind as a fleeting dream. weird things, so much so that i could almost close my eyes and remember exactly what i felt like at those moments. maybe this is a normal thing for people but not for me. because of my situation i think i stopped connecting with myself, allowing myself to focus on the fact that i am happy as opposed to why i am happy. for a while ive placed "deep thoughts" into things like politics and music but tonight i really connected with myself in a way that i havent done for a while. it felt good, but knowing my i will forget it ever happened tomorrow. Current Mood: awake (1 Comment |Comment on this)
6:48 pm	its even colder now -5 degree weather and i had to pick my roommate up from the airport. his plane was late, and although it wasnt his fault it was. he got together with this lady from back home and now hes all talking about marriage, please, spare me the details of your shallow meaningless life. really im lonely and jealous. just when you think you got it all figured out, you dont. im about to read this book about people leaving jobs they dont morally or ethically agree with to do something they love. i can only imagine after reading it i will hate my job even more. the dalai lama says that warm weather makes people less happy, thats why in phoenix the levels of road rage are off the charts. im gonna go on a limb and say it works the other way around too. I HATE THE FUCKEN COLD. Current Mood: and bitter (Comment on this)
6:47 pm	another fine wyoming day of 15 degree weather caused me to only leave my house to get a magazine out of my car and i even regret that. oh when will it end you ask, 2 years, 2 months and 6 days. i wanna get a 4 track recorder, they are cool and not that expensive and make you really cool. cool. anyway i saw searching for bobby fischer so now im gonna join the local chess club because hey, that chess thing is an art not a game, i see that now. Current Mood: crazy (Comment on this)
6:46 pm	so i just wrote this whole schpeel about my christmas and whatnot but it got erased because the time on my computer was wrong for my last update and i fixed it. fuck that man. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
6:45 pm	So its been like 8 months since i wrote anything in this journal and the sad thing is things are mostly the same as they were then. plenty of trivial things have changed but who really cares about them anyway. i talked to this guy about modest mouse today online, he wrote good english for a dutchman. he asked me if i was really from venice when i told him LA because a lot of people will just say LA when talking to european people. i found that strange. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 13th, 2003
11:03 am	big american party, yyaaahhh everybody disco dancing lots of fun, good time for all i am having very good time robot dancing oh no police quickly in here who is driving? oh my god, bear is driving how can that be? car full of midgits korean animation studio everybody work, everybody work, everybody work he big mean man, whip us we are slaves here we are help us we will stop, there is no escape this time no it is you who will be the one escaping nah pikachu mitsosu ha ha ha axle folay and judge reynhold ha ha ha tom cruise oh no, you want the truth, you cant handle the truth show me the money oh no (scene ends with dante hicks, randal graves, bear, lawyer saluting american flag, everything flashing colors) Current Mood: way stoked (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 14th, 2003
9:50 pm	the good and the bad so my heart was ripped out as soon as i discovered it was there. ucla blew a 12 point second half lead tonight ending their season and the collegiate careers of Ray Young and Jason Kapono. i love getting paid and i love the weekend. i hate bills and i hate mondays(those two always seem to come more often). Current Mood: deflated (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 13th, 2003
7:28 pm	personification of wood stand up and take it like a man, i'll get the best of you yet. to bond with men by chopping wood. it is a new experience for me. but a successful one. perry, a wwII veteran marine in his mid 80's shouting over the buzz of the chainsaw "you really took care of him, hahaha" this was my morning. my afternoon has left me elated. ucla in the midst of its worst basketball season in 60 years beat the #1 team in the country, in a playoff game, in overtime, extending their season for at least one game. the comments made by the star veteran made my dad cry. its more than just a game folks. Current Mood: ecstatic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 11th, 2003
11:41 am	just when you thought it was safe well, i say in general i'm a person who tries to remain positive about anything i can. But sometimes things happen that you just can't be happy about. Unfortunately i am under federal orders not to speak about it. all i know is that i am not in any trouble. i cant say the same for some other people that i know. but i do feel guilty even though i didnt do anything wrong. pretty soon, i'll be able to say more. but sometimes life really does suck. Current Mood: sick to my stomach (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 6th, 2003
5:04 pm	well, i never thought i would get tired of a job that has no work... but i am. my days go by so slow. there is never anything to do. we were on this stint of video games for a while but it looks like thats gone. the higher-higher ups actually expect us to sit with our heads in our books for six hours. so i am grumpy, and i dont want to go to karate. i just want to sit and watch all of the wonderful movies that i downloaded. Current Mood: pissy (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
2:29 pm	hooray i fista be on the net. yippy. all is well except that i have this throbbing feeling in my chest that leads me to believe my heart is gong to stop at any moment. Current Mood: fearful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 26th, 2003
1:13 pm	operation joint venture The FBI, NSA, ISN, Department of Labor, US Marshalls, OSI(undercover AF cops), AF swat teams, EOD officers(explosive ordinance demolition), K-9 units, 2 helicopters, translaters, and about 50 cops including me(code name poppa 2). This was my day today. I woke up thinking nothing interestig would happen, as usual but little did i know what the air force had in store. about two hours before it kickd off we met in a briefing room where we went over blueprints of the buildings that were to be searched. okay, okay, i didn't search and buildings but i had my m-16 and was prepared to apprehend anyone who decided to run. what happened you ask? well apparently a company that we payed $27 million to was using illegal aliens for their construction and paying them slave wages. This is actually pretty dangerous because they work about 1/2 mile from our nuclear weapons facility. They could easily be paid off for info about entry procedures and other things. The AF caught on when they detained 5 illegal aliens trying to get off base during an alarm. So some phone calls were made and we ended up rounding up 88 suspects and the people in charge who in deep doodoo. Anyway they told me it was a once in a career experience, even for cops who work 20 years and it looks good on my record. Current Mood: exhausted (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 24th, 2003
4:23 pm	so i am now a cop as if that wasnt bad enough, i had to spend my work day in -12 degree weather. well, i really only had to work outside for 30 minutes. but tomorrow i can expect hours of this shit. its really not all that bad though. i only have to work 6 hour days and it actually goes by quicker than my normal job. if it just wasn't so damn cold. but on a lighter note. this weekend i happened to find an ethernet cord that just barelly reaches from kisners computer into my room and into the back of my computer, hmm... needless to say i have been downloading straight for like 5 hours. life is good. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Friday, February 21st, 2003
7:19 pm	holy shit I GOT A COMPUTER!!! well, i didnt actually get it yet, but i bought it and paid for it and all that. it comes into tomorrow. i will be a happy camper. unfortunately, i am not the amazing shot i thought i was, i barelly passed my shooting test. i think i drank a little too much the night before. but at least its over and its the weekend and all. i wouldn't be a true fan if i didn't bring up how UCLA walloped Cal in OT. and i actually got to see it. Current Mood: Rich (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 11th, 2003
7:52 pm	blahbety blah, working stand by sux. so far counting saturday and until 1am on monday i worked more than the my buddy yosko worked all week last week. ive been dowloading music, huraw, hip hip huraw. thats about it. Current Mood: thirsty (Comment on this)
Monday, February 10th, 2003
1:11 pm	andrew today i am officially dedicating this journal entry to my bestest friend andrew who also on occasion is my gay lover. andrew, you are the greatest, i just wanted you to know that. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 7th, 2003
3:38 pm	so, i know its been a while. but ima make another go at this. i think ive lost my appreciation for life. i dont think i feel anything as deeply as i used to. the pro, i dont get depressed, i am generally "happy", im getting more or less consistent to the point where i think its unnatural. i just lost two of my very best friends and i stilll dont think its hit me yet. i'm considering going to saudi arabia just to see if this is what it'll be like for the rest of my life. i sure hope not. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 7th, 2002
10:17 pm	ug, um, and yeah so, i went home this weekend for one that rivals the greats. Gotta sum it up quit cause im gettin kicked off but Bob and David remain my favorite comedians with a spectacular performance that kept me rolling, and being at the angels game in which they won their first playoff series will probably be the greatest sporting event i may ever see in person. i forgot my phone charger so i'm out commish until next weekend. adios all (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 1st, 2002
10:09 pm	woe, woe is me my beloved angels squandered a lead in the 8th inning of their first playoff game in 16 years. tis a shame, tis a cryin' cryin' shame. but at least i still have bob and david! (1 Comment |Comment on this)